30DTD1.

On 20SB, I saw someone mention "30 Days of Truth." I'd never heard of it and it sounded interesting so I Googled it. After reading about it - I decided I wanted to do it because it's a good way to get to know yourself. I know how lame that sounds, trust me... but I avoid things, intensely. If I wanted to, I could go through an entire day without having one serious thought... and some of these questions are pretty serious, so I think this is going to be good for me.

Day 01 - Something you hate about yourself.

First... I'm going to state how odd I think it is that this is the very first question. Depressing.

I hate that I'm afraid of failure. It's always been a fear of mine... for as long as I can remember. When I was little, I quit taking piano lessons when it got too hard because I didn't want to feel incapable of learning. I quit playing basketball when I was a junior in high school because they wanted to move me up to Varsity, and I was terrified that I would either 1) never get to play or 2) make a fool out of myself in front of the entire school if I did get to play. I quit dancing when I was young, because I had a good memory and all the little girls in my class would watch me and do what I did, and I was afraid I'd let them down during a performance(yes, I could process that at that age) and I also quit again when I was a senior in high school because I didn't want people to expect me to go to college and try to continue with dancing - even though that's what I wanted. I was good at my studio, but I was afraid I wouldn't be good enough at a college. I never went to college, because I was afraid I'd fail. I don't try to make friends because I'm afraid people won't like me... which is failure in my book. This fear has always held me back from doing things that I've wanted to do... and I hate it.

(PS - the rest of the questions are on the 30DT link to the right)